Call People on their Birthday
“What are you doing up so late?”, Monsignor Velo joked as I answered the call at 10 pm while planning Mayor Richard M. Daley’s first inaugural.
We both laughed, because we knew that planning an inaugural in two weeks was like building the John Hancock Building in the same time period!
As the top aide to the beloved Cardinal Bernardin, he was calling to let me know whether the Cardinal would be able to attend the inauguration. And that is how a long friendship began.
Velo’s network is far and wide, so naturally I would reach out to him for his tips on how to network. One thing I saw more clearly than ever: it’s like tending a garden, something that must be done regularly.
His top tips? Here we go!
Create a monthly list of people to contact. This includes a list of birthdays and anniversaries. He uses this to make several calls daily. He calls them — no email.
Have trouble remembering people’s names? Velo recommends the following: Repeat the person’s name. Ask the person how to spell it. This helps connect the name to something that helps you remember. I sometimes use a word that rhymes or a line from a book. He also says their name while talking; this helps to embed names into your memory.
He has had mentors that are guiding lights. Sometimes a mentor will find you, like it did him, when he was still in high school. Sister Agnes Claire spotted something special in Monsignor. When he was just a young man, she sent him to a conference at Notre Dame that inspired him to become a priest.
Travel can be the best conversation starter. Even if we are not seasoned travelers, most people have a list of places they want to visit.
Be the person that adds, that multiplies. Give more than you take. You will be pleasantly surprised. Don’t subtract or divide.
When talking to someone, don’t look over their shoulder. Make them the most important person in the room while you are talking to them.
Keep confidences. Don’t gossip.
I started calling people on their birthdays. I will admit that I am still a little nervous about doing it. The joy in my friend Melissa’s voice was worth the angst.
Let me know which ones you implement, and I’ll share in an upcoming blog. Reach out to me at janvkostner.com.
Be Connected!
